Holidays

The holidays, mainly Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years are a time that most people look forward to. For the past few years, I have not. I have dreaded the coming of these days with bitterness and fear knowing that I would probably feel disappointment and a longing for something unknown.

This year is different. I have a peace this year and feel a happiness that I haven't felt in years. I already have our tree up. Brandon picked it out and decorated it. I think it is the most beautiful tree I have ever seen. I have already finished my shopping and was excited about wrapping the presents and getting them under the tree. Our little apartment is meagerly decorated but definitely has that festive feeling when you walk inside. I am looking forward to going to parties and having fun with friends instead of sitting at home feeling all alone.

I have seen many changes in my life in the past two years. I have bittersweet feelings about some of the changes but I can see life flourishing in myself and in my son. A lightness and easy going feeling has come to both of us as we move forward in our lives.

I have many friends that have helped me through some terrible times and often find myself in tears as I realize how thankful I am for the hands and shoulders that have carried me through. My wonderful friend Dan who has stood by me faithfully and been a rock and foundation for me to stay above the troubled water's waves. My sisters Diane and Shirley that have not pressed me for anything but have shown unconditional love for me and Brandon. My brother, Jeff, who has done the same. All of which have never judged but have all been a great support. My parents who have taken me under their wings and shielded me from harm and given support like no one else can do.

I am a blessed person and I thank God for all my friends and family every day. I am finally able to love life again and with God's help I hope I will encourage others to find joy not only in the holidays but also in each and every day that we are blessed with.